When you cried last time and, if no secret, for what reason?
I cried just a few days ago. I found myself in a situation where I witnessed someone confronting their' abuser many years later. To see this survivor in that moment was scary and touching at the same time.
I am a survivor of sexual abuse when I was 10 years old. I saw so much of the same anger, frustration, and fear that I felt for years now in this survivor. The same emotions that, at times, drove me to thoughts of suicide and made me feel absolutely insane. To hold something that powerful inside for that long creates this web of raw emotion and unhealthy thought patterns.
Yet, I found this strange comfort in witnessing the confrontation. Not in anyway would I want to see someone else in this state, but to know I'm not alone was comforting. You always hear there are others that went through the same thing, but to see it first hand was different somehow.
There are some events during our life, when it seems as there is no way out. That could be tragic circumstances or such assessment of them. At that time, what's the thing to do?
The mental habits that I developed after holding the secret of the abuse for so long were horrible. In the worst moments, when it felt like there was never going to be a change for the better, when there was no way out of my head, I wanted to die or make someone else feel as badly as I did. I know I would never kill myself, but the thoughts of it started to become more detailed. I knew I had to do something. I had been to therapy before and made progress, so I went back.
There I learned that there will always be triggers for me that will cause an emotional reaction which, to the outsider, seem like overreactions. I always remember that when I see someone react in such a manner, that they're reacting out of fear and I am teaching myself not to judge anyone cause we've all got our stories. So from there I sought to find the most peaceful way of living, a simplified way of reacting.
I'm learning to meditate and incorporating yoga practice into my daily life. I'm eating better, because I do believe that has an effect on our chemistry, I feel a difference when I'm not eating processed foods, but foods that are whole and truly nourishing. I'm learning to be a better friend and to not isolate myself from people. In it's simplest terms, just living better.
Could you please choose any event of last days, weeks or months, that has distressed you? It can be any happening on a local or international scale. How could you comment on it?
The frequent celebrity deaths in the last couple months were distressing to me. Perhaps because I've not experienced much death in my immediate family. The only grandparent I knew was my Granny Becca on my mother's side and she passed when I was five. I don't remember having a big reaction. I'm not sure if I didn't understand or if I just accepted it because I hadn't learned that "death is bad".
However, the way the media deals with death is so overly dramatic. They want the worse case scenario, the most ratings. They ignore the human that has passed away, and go for the ego. Forgetting that each of them, the reporters, anchors, and experts will die one day too.
There's always a new danger watching for humanity in its way, always a new temptation we're ready succumb to. What's the danger of our days? And what's the way to avoid this trap?
The danger of our days I believe is the ego. It's what drives us to desperately seek approval. It always wants more in anyway you can think of. It wants attention. In the simplest of ways and can grow to be destructive.
I'm so aware of things I do to get attention, even down to this interview. There's a narcissistic side to all of us. The growth of reality television alone is making it simpler and more acceptable to satisfy your ego and hurt others along the way. Plus these people are rewarded for their behavior. On the flip side, there are some reality programs where some are simply exploited for their weaknesses in order to feed someone else's wallet and allow their ego to flourish. Then I think, well maybe that's what makes them feel truly fulfilled. I just feel there are so many things in this world that are far more important, yet so much time and money is fed into this system.
The ego is such a broad topic, it can't possibly be explored fully in the realm of reality television. I believe it's what makes people want to be a super hero or do genetic testing so they can clone themselves and live forever. Not that being a super hero is bad, that'd be pretty cool. I'd like to have flying ability. I guess simply, when people let their egos get the best of them that they can't see how it affects others. If everyone could love themselves regardless of external accomplishments and/or failures, it'd be wonderful. I'm learning to do it, and it IS wonderful.
What are the main obstructions to apply humanities principles at our today's life? Could they be solved?
Obstructions in our daily lives are as small as road rage or as big as terminal illnesses. I don't think any of the daily issues will ever be solved, there will always be conflict of some sort.
We just need to learn how to deal with them better. We should see peace in everything and stop struggling with life. To accept things as they are makes it easier to see the next step, we can grow from every challenge. We can change our habits so we don't have the repetitive thoughts in our heads everyday.
For years I've had the struggle of anxiety and depression. I learned to see them as a habit, an emotional addiction of sorts. I learned to stop and look around me when I felt that coming on. I think to myself, "What is wrong at this very moment? Can I do anything to change the situation?" I see what I can or can't do, and simplifying it like that allows me to breathe. I stop crying, I stop struggling and I live with it. I don't want to be a ball on the floor in hysterics anymore. I want to feel everything out of truth and love.
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