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 Vic Chao, actor (USA), 13/08/2009
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Vic Chao graduated from Stanford University in Mechanical Engineering. He used to develop medical devices but quit and became an actor. Vic counts among his acting highlights: recurring for two seasons of '24', working with Sandra Bullock on 'Miss Congeniality 2', working with Tony Shalhoub on 'Monk', and working with Kelsey Grammer on 'Frasier'. |
When you cried last time and, if no secret, for what reason? Earlier this spring, I was one of the final two choices for a series regular role on a great CBS FBI-themed pilot. The ultimate casting choice is made via a process called "network testing", whereby the final actors audition separately in front of dozens of network executives. A fun (and agonizing) part of this process is that you sign your 6-year television contract before your network test, so you find out exactly what could happen if you are cast in the pilot, and if the pilot gets picked up, and if the show becomes a hit. An actor's life is filled with disappointment; in fact, if you do not get cast 95% of the times that you audition, you're probably doing incredibly well. In how many careers is a 5% hit rate considered a success? As a result of this constant rejection, it is tempting to shield ourselves from disappointment by downplaying all of the wonderful possibilities that could happen. We try not to think about what could happen; we insist that we won't get the role; or we joke that if we do get the role, the project will flop or it will be a huge success but we will be cut out of it. All of these rationalizations are intended to shield us from pain, but they also prevent us from fully embracing life and its exhilarating and heartbreaking experiences. Rather than not thinking about what could happen, I wanted to fully embrace the entire network testing process, so I let myself dream about what could happen. I imagined how great it could be to become a household name, to field offers rather than looking for my next job, to positively influence peoples' views on race the way that 'The Jeffersons' positively shaped my views on black people, and to be able to make the world a better place on a grander level. I thought about establishing my own production company, becoming a spokesperson for some of my favorite charitable organizations, even starting my own non-profit foundation, and also buying an elephant. Because elephants are really, really cool. The network test came, and I nailed it. While "the room" can be very intimidating, I felt very confident, excited, and supported by all the people who really wanted me to do great. The audition felt fantastic, and I left the building knowing that I did the absolute best that I could. After I left, then came the nerves. I couldn't think about anything except, "When will I find out?". Finally, I decided to take a bike ride to work off my nervous energy. 50 yards from my home, I got the call from my agent: "They went with the other guy". And that was it. No series regular role, no fame, no fortune, no charitable foundation. No elephant. I sent out texts to all my friends and families to let them know the disappointing news and then I rode my bike. And rode. And rode. And rode. I rode endlessly in a numbing cloud of disappointment and pain. After a long time, I rode past a solitary wall against the back of a solitary building. I decided that I wanted to sit by myself for a bit, so I stopped my bike and sat down behind the wall. And without warning, the tears came and I sobbed aloud for everything that could have been but was no longer. I cried for 20 minutes behind that wall before the tears finally emptied themselves from my body. And with nothing left, I went home. That weekend was tough, but after the disappointment eased, I was able to reflect and rejoice in what a wonderful life I have filled with great things (mostly in the form of great people who care about me) that make me truly blessed.
There are some events during our life, when it seems as there is no way out. That could be tragic circumstances or such assessment of them. At that time, what's the thing to do? When there is nothing else, there is still hope, and if that’s all that is left, you have to hold on to the hope. On rare occasions, I can suffer from depression — it’s a quirk of my brain chemistry that can be triggered by just the right circumstances and transform me from a normal, productive, happy person to an obsessed, soulless person devoid of all energy. When I was depressed, it would be not uncommon to lie in bed past noon, unable to stir up the energy to walk to the kitchen to feed myself or even to the bathroom to relieve myself. Papers would pile up, first on my desk, then a table, then another table, and finally on the floor because I couldn’t bring myself to deal with them. It’s a horrible half-existence, and I’m very blessed that it happens to me only occasionally. During those times, I’ve tried everything to rid myself of the depression including: prayer, meditation, herbals, drugs, exercise, massage, acupuncture, therapy, and more. It’s terrible to feel as if you’re trying everything and nothing is working. I think that sometimes, the only thing that could keep me going was imaging that somehow, someway, I might eventually be free of the depression. Hold on to hope.
Could you please choose any event of last days, weeks or months, that has distressed you? It can be any happening on a local or international scale. How could you comment on it? The election situation in Iran where the democratic will of the people is being ignored is tremendously distressing to me. It is particularly difficult for them because it gets easier to ignore a situation the longer that it drags on. The protests have run for weeks, but because it is no longer "new" news (and because it takes place in a country that is viewed with suspicion by much of the world), it is hard for the media and the world to continue to take an interest in the story. Whether in Tehran or Tiananmen, democracy is an important pursuit; I sympathize with the protesters and fear for their safety.
There's always a new danger watching for humanity in its way, always a new temptation we're ready succumb to. What's the danger of our days? And what's the way to avoid this trap? We’re becoming a world of people with the attention span of gnats. Technology, especially the Internet, has delivered entertainment and amusement to us in precisely whatever flavor we like, which relieves us of the tedium of having to wait for things or to actually work to become engaged in something. If an activity is the least bit uninteresting to us, it’s all too easy to pull out our phones and text, twitter, game, or read something interesting if unenriching. I fight this problem every day; In some ways, I find it easier to browse the web than to sleep. The solution lies in staying disciplined; I try to limit my "useless" web browsing to an hour a day. Unfortunately, I frequently do not succeed. I also think it’s important for parents to monitor their children Internet usage to hold off Internet addiction for as long as — HEY IS THAT CAT REALLY PLAYING THAT KEYBOARD???!!!! The Internet: it’s soda pop for your brain.
What are the main obstructions to apply humanities principles at our today's life? Could they be solved? I think that the main obstruction remains the same as it did thousands of years ago when society first began: we’re a bunch of selfish bastards. That’s really it. We’re selfish and our instinct is to do what’s best for ourselves before we do what’s best for those around us. I think the key is to be aware of this programming, and by being aware of our innate capacity for selfishness, we can use our higher-level consciousness to overcome what has been programmed into our brain by millions of years of evolution. Treat people the way that you want them to treat you. Simple, simple.
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| Comments: 2, would be great to get one of yours... |
MetoVital, 15 Aug 2009 05:45 pm |
| nice guy, hope you'll be succeed in career $D |
Pethe, 14 Aug 2009 03:20 am |
| very open minded,,.. |
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